Mourning

I go from sobbing to laughing, calm to crying at the drop of a hat. I'm afraid at any point out in public (that is, if I can get out in public with the 2+ feet of snow we have that will not stop) I will start crying uncontrollably. It's horrible.

At a future point in time, I will write to cleanse. I will write to educate. I need to speak the truth, no matter how much it hurts, no matter how much people will judge. For myself. For my dad.

But right now, I will cry. And cry.

Thank you to everyone for your thoughts, whether you've voiced them or not.

And again, here come the tears.

I don't even know how to say this...

but my dad is gone.

How is it possible...

in this age of medical technology that a new mother, with a baby only 3 weeks old, can die of complications from birth? I just found out this morning about a sorority sister of mine and I'm so sad for her husband, baby, family, and friends.

And I'm also sorry that I've been so awful about posting and visiting. These past few weeks have been crazy, what with my convention in Chicago (a good time was had by all), resultant upper respiratory sickness from being in very close quarters with two sickies in Chicago, Thanksgiving travel, and work. Plus the evil lure of Facebook has been calling to me (and if any of y'all are on it yourselves, I'd love to befriend you there! Let me know...), which is how I learned of my sorority sister. I am going to try to be better...

Hope everyone is well...

Another 5 pounds down, and I still hate Vicky

So Amy totally went against everything I thought she'd learned...and after Vicky called her a backstabbing b*tch all week long. She should know that as soon as V gets a chance, she'll vote her ass off without blinking. Oh well, I guess she'll learn soon enough. I swear, if Vicky wins this whole thing, I refuse to watch any more seasons of this.

I've been slightly more MIA lately, and I apologize. It's not easy to keep up regularly with everything else (work) going on (child). I've been on Facebook, which is pretty cool...I've found many people from my past and may even meet up with one in the windy city soon! Tomorrow, I leave for Chicago with 3 co-workers...we are heading to our national conference and not coming back until Sunday morning! I've spent the last few days doing laundry, packing here and there, finishing reports, chiseling away at the fall growth on my legs, etc. And then - holy crap - it's Thanksgiving! What happened? I hope that the weekend doesn't totally derail my diet...I'd hate to undo what amazingness just happened over the past 2 weeks!

I'm going to try to write more often, especially during my school breaks, but after the new year in particular. I hope all y'all are well!

I'm Freezing

Uh, yeah. So my house has only been in existence for 18 months or so, right? And one would expect, when one owns a newer home, that said home would be relatively maintenance and trouble free, for the most part, correct?

And if there is trouble, like say the furnace won't kick on, would it not be reasonable to ask that this occurrence happens on a weekday? Or that, if not, then one would be able to find a heating and cooling company that has Saturday morning hours?

We got sucker punched by Murphy's Law.

Woke up this morning to a chilly house, which isn't necessarily a problem, since our heat is programmed to kick on at about 7 or 7:30. However, when that time passed and there was still no real heat emanating from the registers, we started to worry. We have a new, fancy, high tech, Energy-Star-Save-the-Planet-Good-Housekeeping-Sealed-Lennox furnace that crapped out on us. Called the number on the furnace sticker, and got voice mail with nary an off hours emergency number. I found a company that's actually in our town, husband called and was actually called back. So I took munchkin to my parents' house and husband waited for the HVAC dude.

Dude was very nice, apparently, but his company sucks donkey. They charge DOUBLE for labor on the weekends, not even time and a half. DOUBLE. And if the builder had this company install the system, our service call would've been free (so we'd at least have our $120 back). And, oh, the company that installed our system? Out of business. Yep, we don't even have any sort of recourse there.

So Lennox covers the part that's busted (some sort of gas valve that you can't even go to Home Depot to buy...you must buy it from some special warehouse and you must be a certified HVAC guru), and hey, it's good that we won't have to shell out at least $91. However, the LABOR for this is $300!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I don't even charge that much for an hour of MY time at work. What the frig?!? And if we had it installed today? $580. JUST. FOR. LABOR. Since kiddo is spending the night at g & g's, I said hell, no, we'll wait until Monday.

But I'm pissed. Why the hell is this thing busting after 18 months? And why the hell doesn't Lennox cover at least part of the labor costs, especially before the unit has been operating even 2 years? This is crap. I was so mad earlier, I thought I was going to bust an artery. I will be writing to both Lennox and Good Housekeeping about the quality suckage, even though I'm sure it won't get me anywhere. And I'll be calling my homeowner's insurance on Monday morning to see if this is covered under our policy.

It's totally the principle of the thing.

And I'll be checking into HVAC certification for my husband. Dammit, he might as well earn his keep somehow.

SERENITY NOW!

YES!!!!

You guys, I have never been into this show in the past, but I am SO. GLAD. that Amy C. did the right thing tonight and split up a purely evil team. She doesn't deserve to be part of that piece of crap blue team. I'm just bummed out it wasn't Vicky the b**ch. I can't even write that much about it, it makes my blood absolutely boil. I was so happy tonight to find that other people loathe Vicky as much as I do - I found Tivo Mom and her band of readers.

And now the rest of you know how vindictive I am inside...except that, if you watch the show, you'll know that I'm actually for the "good guys".

Thank you, Amy C.! I'm very proud you're a Michigander!

And in my own weight loss? Down 5.4 lbs this week...yay!

Accountability

Nothing to do with the election, folks. Just a "public" declaration that I am officially back to Weight Watcher meetings. I was always a Saturday morning kinda girl - get up, drop the kids off at the pool (if you know what I'm sayin'), then go weigh in and stay for the meeting. Now? It's 5:30 on a weekday, and at a church - not at an actual WW building - but the meeting is super close to my house. Hopefully, that'll encourage me to go consistently. I'm hoping to find a kindred spirit (recognize the literary reference anyone?) that I can do some walking with. While it's nice to be solitary sometimes, it's always better with a friend.

So now that at least a few people know about it, I will feel slightly more accountable.

Technical Difficulties & Misheard Lyrics

Since I can't get ANY of my Halloween pics or videos to upload, I give you this:




My child thinks the chorus of "Don't Fight It" is actually "Go Pirate". She sings it loud and proud.

Halloween Haiku

Waiting to go out

It's trick-or-treat time again

Candy bars galore

******

Scared to venture out

but the irresistable

pull of sugar calls

WW - Fall Fun

Last Thursday, I wanted Molly to see a sunset. So we ate dinner and got in the car for the 15 minute trip to the big lake. Unfortunately, it was too cloudy to see the sun at that point, so we didn't see what we came for. But we had fun talking about the lake and waving goodnight to grandma and grandpa to the south. Molly was, however, QUITE upset that the swings were no longer up. I tried to explain that, once the snow fences go up, the swings come down. No dice. Saturday, we went to "help" make apple butter at a friend's family farm. We did more watching than helping, but you know how it is when you don't want to be in the way? It was pretty cool, and we got some product for our presence.

Incidentally, making apple butter takes a long time. You have to boil cider down for several hours, then cook the apples separately (basically making applesauce in mass quantities), stirring constantly. The apples cooked for basically 6 hours before the cider was added back in, a bit at a time.

There was fun to be had in the corn crib while waiting. The girls were making "corn soup".

Lastly, take the mixture off the heat, add in sugar, cinnamon, cloves, and allspice. And lots of it.

Then back home Sunday for some relaxing and torturing of the kitties. Honestly, how many cats tolerate having costumes on? Do you see the death grip husband has to have on this one?

I got lucky and caught Scooter just waking up...she didn't fight it too much. But as you can see, she's clearly thinking, "I am SO going to poop stain this chick's side of the bed tonight."

IPod Songs Anonymous

Come on, we all have 'em...those songs that you'd hate to have exposed to everyone. I am known as a Queen of the Obscure Song, and there are definitely some obscurities on here. Anyhow, here goes:

1. Sailing - Christopher Cross
I challenge you to listen to this with headphones and see if you don't immediately want to be at the beach in a lounge chair at sunset. With headphones, you can hear all of the background instrumentation (likely synthesized, but who cares?) and it's soooo much better. I've loved this song since I was a kid.

2. The Sweetest Thing - Juice Newton
Another throwback to childhood. There were so many country crossovers in the early 80s that we all loved them. This was no exception. An especially good tune to belt out while using your hairbrush as a microphone.

3. Boogie in Your Butt - Eddie Murphy
The perfect song for an immature elementary schooler. Put a little tiny man in your butt indeed.

4. Alley Oop - The Hollywood Argyles
My family had the "Goofy Greats" LP when I was growing up...remember K-Tel? Yeah, baby. This is one of those songs that's only semi-politically incorrect.

5. The Lumberjack - Jackyl
I was seriously dating a guy who was into hard rock. I went to a Damn Yankees concert (no comments, please) and Jackyl opened for them. What can I say? I was hornswoggled into listening to their music by some sort of subluminal message, brought to me by the chainsaw playing of Jesse James Dupree.

6. 99 Luft Balloons - Nena
The German version only, please. Who didn't love this song?

7. The Girl is Mine - Paul McCartney & some weird other guy
Again. What tween girl in 1983 did not covet this album? I will still belt this one out in the car if it's on.

8. Puff the Magic Dragon - Peter, Paul, and Mary
Please tell me I'm not the only one who remembers this cartoon in the 70s. It was a seasonal special, but I can't remember what holiday it usually played around. I can still picture the animation in my mind.

9. The Girl from Ipanema - Stan Getz & Astrud Gilberto
I feel so groovy when I hear this song. Actually, it is pretty relaxing. I think I downloaded it because of some commercial a few years ago. I'm easy prey for advertisers.

10. Call to the Heart - Giuffria
Don't ask me where this one came from. I remember LOVING the song when it was on the radio (in 1984) at the age of 12. I still actually like it.

So tell me, what songs are you embarrassed about?

SNL funny - Peyton Manning United Way

WW - The Music in Me

Remember my new camera, that husband bought for my birthday this year? Well, one evening while playing hide-and-seek with my daughter, I found the old one. Under our bed. Apparently, it fell out of husband's jeans pocket when he took them off and, well, he didn't notice. Oh well. At least I found this picture:

We had pretty good seats, if I do say so myself. And yes, I know I'm old. Believe me, I was reminded by the number of legitimate geriatrics at the concert. We're talking people that served in the Korean War.

And for the daily dose of cuteness, I give you this:

Rockin' out at Best Buy with daddy. Check out the badass flashing witch amulet she's sporting. It really goes with that pink Wisconsin Ducks sweatshirt, no?

Pick-Me-Up

Ugh. First of all, hugs to my regular bloggy peeps who have also been feeling a bit down in the dumps. Maybe if I'd read your posts a few days ago, I wouldn't have felt quite so alone tonight when I broke down and cried from...I don't know what. Thanks for being so honest in your writing.

I have found that, if I'm feeling crappy on a Monday, watching The Big Bang Theory is pretty helpful. Highly recommended therapy.

And if I don't feel better the next day? I can get out my new Wii game (haven't gotten it yet) and pretend I'm slapping the sneer right off Jillian's face. Now that is a feature that I'd pay extra for.

Chins up, all!

So Proud

My child surprised me twice this weekend-

The first surprise was when she wrote her name for the first time - WOW. I never anticipated getting so excited over something like that. But it was huge!

The next surprise was when I tried to have her write the word cat. I wrote it down, as seen above, for her to copy. What she did was draw what you see above the word cat. Isn't that the most adorable thing EVER?

I've been a little MIA the past few days. I'm working on possibly opening up my junior high diary and recopying some of those embarrassing little gems, idea courtesy of Swistle and Mortified. I also have tomorrow and Tuesday off, which is new this school year (hallelujah) and will be heading to Chi-town tomorrow with a good friend, a la Ferris Bueller. Minus the greasy parking structure dude and the awesome convertible. We're first checking out the Field Museum where they are having a very cool promotion - Target Second Mondays. Free admission to everything! Then, probably to browse at the American Girl Store. Yay!!!

See y'all Tuesday!

WW - Mommy, what's that??

I had almost forgotten about this little gem...when M about 13-14 months old, we took her to quite a few animal places. The zoo, baby animal days at the agricultural college, the metropark with a working farm. Husband had taken a ton of pictures, per usual. We were in the car after one of these excursions and he was checking out what he had taken. All of a sudden, he started laughing hysterically, so much that he was actually crying and just about out of breath.

Here's why:

Completely and totally accidental. And priceless, if I say so myself.

Uh, yeah.

Is it wrong of me to covet the youngish lads pictured in the entryway of Abercrombie and Fitch? These dudes could be my pool boys ANY.DAY. I mean, I'm too old (and too cheap) to go in that store anymore, but oh, mama, walking by there, seeing those pictures, smelling that cologne. Wow.

Haiku Friday - Sunsets

How can I describe

the calm when I see all the

colors of sunset?

******

Okay, so maybe that doesn't make total sense. What does make sense? West Michigan sunsets. Seriously, they rock. Of course, this was only taken over my "pond" in the backyard, but the colors were still completely awesome. I was actually sad when I knew I couldn't catch the rest of this sunset over the big lake - it would've taken me 10 minutes to drive there and this is clearly the last of it.

So that's one reason I love living here, despite my post the other day.

Sigh of relief and sheepish realization

*This ended up being a much longer post than I intended. Thanks for getting through the whole thing, if you do.*

First of all, huge sigh of relief...we now own only one house! We discussed it on the way home and decided that the way we did things ended up working out for the best. If we'd waited to move and husband had commuted, we'd still be stuck in a tiny house in a suburb in which I no longer wanted to live.

And now, for a little sheepish realization.

While we were hanging out in the town of Large Midwestern Big 10 University, I realized something that I never thought possible. Driving past the stadium (on a football Saturday, what kind of a dumbass am I?), through campus, past the building of my favorite job, shopping at the brand new Whole Foods Market, I had a discomforting feeling.

I was homesick.

Discomfort was the flavor of the day, because quite honestly, I didn't want to admit it. I had hounded my husband about moving elsewhere, as we were both really tired of the sardine suburb we lived in and no longer wanted the long commutes. I wanted better schools for my child, and a larger yard for her to play in. I wanted to be home before 6:30 at night.

We moved to our first house from an apartment in the town of LMB10U (see above) because at the time, I was in grad school and only making a part time secretarial salary. The suburb we moved to had houses we could afford, whereas LMB10U did not - I mean, we couldn't even afford a crackhouse there. Our mortgage payment was only $150 more than our rent was. But we were only 30 minutes away, and my in-laws were there so there were plenty of reasons to go back.

Husband tried to find a job near there, but without finding a job at the University, there weren't that many opportunities for someone with his work experience...it's kind of a specialized field.

Then came the posting for West Michigan. He applied, got the job, and we packed it up and moved to Beverly. We were back in "my" territory. Back where my maiden name is recognizable to most people. Back where my Dutch heritage is celebrated. Back nearer to my family, but with a good buffer zone. My husband loves our house. He loves where we live. He loves our yard, and the fact that he's justified in having a riding mower.

I, on the other hand, am sort of miserable.

I am different than a lot of these people. My whole view on life is different now, after spending 10 years of my life in what I think of as "granola city". I am waaaaaay more liberal than I used to be. While my religious views haven't changed greatly from that of my childhood (that and my husband is the same denomination as me, so there's no contention in that regard), my way of practicing is extremely different than around here. (No, I'm not Wiccan.) People around here are incredibly conservative, some won't even mow their lawn on Sunday. They go to church twice a week. I'm lucky if I get to service once every couple of months. I feel like my dry, somewhat asinine sense of humor isn't appreciated. I feel like the fact that I work out of the home is looked down upon, like I don't care about my kid enough to stay home (there are a ton of homeschoolers out here, and way more SAHMs than not).

I feel more at home with the granola people. The liberal, melting pot mix of people feels more like home to me. I want to live there again; to hear the planes with the advertising banners overhead on football Saturdays. To see the Goodyear Blimp flying overhead on big game days. To complain about the traffic for the annual summer art fair, but go anyway. To drag husband to shows at the Purple Rose Theatre. To be within an hour of most excellent malls. To be near my friends.

There is always a possibility for husband to move back. His job can be based out of that area, although it would still be a commute. I can get a job most anywhere, although it might not be my dream setting. I found myself looking at the real estate ads this Sunday, mentioning probably too many times (subtlety is not my forte) how inexpensive houses are out there right now.

What the hell am I doing to myself? *slap slap* I guess I'm just one of those people for whom "the grass is always greener...." was written. I'll get over it eventually.

But I'm still homesick.

Updates...

Snoopy dancing idea courtesy of Tuli :)

I let out a proverbial HUGE sigh of relief earlier today. My dad can take a break from chemo; the scan showed nothing new! Actually, I guess nothing lit up besides his sternum -which was something that showed up in the very beginning as well, but the oncologist we saw at large midwestern university said she wasn't convinced it was anything since he'd just had heart stents placed. So we'll take it!!!

And in other good news, we CLOSE ON OUR OLD HOUSE Friday afternoon!!!!!!

I'm celebrating this weekend. Celebrating EVERYTHING.

Thanks for all your thoughts...I'm not sure it's possible to convey how much they are/were appreciated! *Hugs*

WW - My craftiness knows no bounds

Not a very good picture, but this is the shrinky dink luggage tag I made for my kiddo's backpack. The picture is a stamp that I colored in with permanent markers, and the template was printed off the shrinky dink website. Not bad, considering it was my first foray into these things!

How is it possible

that I have been on this earth for thirty*mmphh* years and have JUST NOW found out the sheer wonder and awesomeness of Shrinky Dinks? OMG, they are sooooo cool. For the record, I did want them as a kid, but thought for some reason that you needed to have an oven with a window, otherwise they would not work. We did not have a windowed oven in our harvest gold range while I was growing up. And admittedly, after watching it through my oven window this evening, it would not have been nearly as satisfying.

Nervousness

So husband is taking Molly with him this week when he works out of town, so she can see her grandparents. Normally, this is pretty okay with me, although it's getting harder and harder the older she gets - I miss her TONS.

This week? I'm nervous.

I'm always a little on edge the weeks that my dad gets results of his quarterly PET scans. Up to this point, the results have been positive, meaning that the damn cancer is being beaten back. The reason I'm extra nervous this time is because he's only been getting one of the chemo meds - the platinum based stuff has been stopped for now, because his creatinine levels have been slightly higher than they should be. This means his kidneys haven't been as productive as they should be; which is actually pretty normal for someone of his age. But it also means that it's not good to further tax his kidneys with the platinum meds.

So the fact that he's only had one type of med coupled with the fact his kidney counts haven't been great make me scared. Scared that his body is starting to say "enough". And I'm scared that, without the platinum, the damn c will move.

On the plus side, he's happy his hair has started to grow back, and he seems to feel pretty good.

Keep fingers crossed for us.

On another positive note, we have a tentative date for closing on our old house. Next Monday. We are just waiting for a verdict from the second mortgage lender.

Haiku Friday - Getting Political

Is it wrong of me
to feel insulted because
McCain chose Palin?

Just my opinion
but where is she coming from?
Don't mean Alaska.

I can't vote for them
simply because she's female-
won't fix the problem.

Tired of seeing
her face on every newsstand;
pitbull joke STUPID.

And is it just me,
or does Palin resemble
Megan Mullally?

If they make it to
Washington, it will just be
more of the same.

Monday morning randomness

• I am so. glad. the rain is OVER. Three days of constant rain - and I literally did not see it stop once over the last two days - is too damn much.
• It is not easy to entertain a three year old when it is raining for that many days straight. Over the weekend. How do you people with more than one kid do it?!? Unless they entertain each other...
• I am also glad I don't live along the Gulf Coast. Yep. Hurricanes and Big Bugs were the deal breaker for me.
• I hope the aftermath of Ike is better than Katrina and that cleanup is faster.
• As much as I love Chicago, I'm also glad I don't live there right now. Ick.
• I swear I'm filing for divorce if I have to unball my husband's socks one more time.
• My husband is, well, to put it bluntly, a p-i-g pig.
• I decided to try out my new Sonicare UV Sanitizer on our toothbrushes. I took the brush head off my toothbrush, and it was fine save for a little bit of dried paste gunk. My husband's? Well, the man can't brush his teeth without slobbering all down the handle of his toothbrush, and when I took the brush head off? OMG. I thought I was going to vomit. I can't even describe what I saw. I made him come up and clean it out himself. He acted like it was no big deal. Sometimes I really hate him.
• Another thing I hate? The hand lotion/nail buffer people who accost you from their mall kiosk. I think I mentioned this before, which shows you just how much I can't stand them.
• Why did I have to choose to live in a town that has absolutely NO OTHER option for phone service except their rinky dink local phone company? I mean, I think I may be living in the last part of the US that does not have Gigondous Phone Company as an option. This town has a state university in it! And for internet? I have a whopping two choices. TV? Yep, basically two choices, unless I go back to Direct TV. I just might. I hate Charter.
• I really don't feel like working this week. But I'd probably get bored staying home too.
• I really want this house thing to be OVER. We've been trying to get in touch with the bank that holds the equity line to see what they say, but the ONLY APPARENT PERSON WHO DEALS WITH THESE SALES was out of town. AGAIN. How, might I ask, does a huge bank that is merging with an even bigger bank in a very large midwest town have only ONE PERSON on this type of thing? What a load of crap.

Here's hoping I get happier soon. Thanks for reading -

Haiku Friday - Redemption

Husband bought for me

A digital camera

Replacing what's lost

********

Redeeming himself,

he wanted an SLR.

Expensive - I'd flip!

Milestones

1 year ago, I was settling into my new home and job.
5 years ago, I was a new Master's graduate.
10 years ago, I was a newlywed.
15 years ago, it became legal for me to have an alcoholic beverage.
20 years ago, I got my driver's license (holy crap).
30 years ago, I was just starting first grade.

No offense to the rest of you who share these milestones, but

HOLY SH*T. I AM OLD.

(7 years ago, I was sleeping in on a day off when I found out about the unspeakable acts of violence being committed on our country. I will always think of those people and families that were forever changed that day. Doesn't that really include all of us?)

WW - Favorite Places

For other people, exotic locales are the only places they'll vacation.

For me, there's nothing I love more than crossing the five mile long Mighty Mac (did you see the Dirty Jobs episode?) to go to the Upper Peninsula.

Grrrr....

Husband LOST THE CAMERA. With the pictures from our very awesome spots at the Huey Lewis concert!

He's sleeping outside tonight. Asshat.

Eye Candy Monday

I thought maybe this would be a good day to start off with a little eye candy...don't we all need a pick-me-up on a Monday morning? This, ladies, is my new boyfriend:

This is Matt, the "go-to-guy" (aka handyman) on Clean House, which is my new show obsession. He has a goofy sense of humor (*sigh*), can fix things, has big muscles and a crooked smile (with good teeth), and is SMART. The guy actually has an M.D., but left during his internship to pursue acting (okay, so smart might be a matter of opinion).

H.O.T.

From the mouth of babe...

Last weekend at a craft fair, we bought Molly one of those little balloon yo-yos that have a string made of a rubber band. Last night, she brought it to me and asked, "Mommy, can you make this yo?"

Embarrassing Moment Thursday

I love me a good embarrassing moment story. My husband has several (that I bring up to him repeatedly), which I will certainly share in the future. I'd like to say I'm perfect, but, well, I know that's complete and utter BS.


This is one of my stories that inevitably gets brought up when I'm with my childhood friends.


As a teenager, I was blessed with facial skin that was pretty clear. I rarely had pimples. But oh, when I did get one, it was usually a monster. And this one was the mother of monstrous pimples. This was a ZIT. And a zit that was in a most unfortunate place - the crevice right beside my nose...you know the area. Yep. Touch it, and your eyes water like Niagara Falls. This one was so big, my friend's mom actually said, "Honey, that thing needs a name."


She dubbed it Regina, and Regina lives on in infamy.


I tried my best to hide Regina from view. Concealer really didn't do much, it only caked on the surface and further accentuated the large, forming head. But since nobody really ever commented on it (besides my wonderful and supportive girlfriends), I started to think that it wasn't that awful. I mean, it hurt like a bitch, but maybe it wasn't that visible since it was in the crevice of my nose. I just wanted her to develop a damn HEAD already so I could pop her!


So one day I'm sitting in choir. A lull comes up in the room as we were (supposed to be) studying our parts for whatever. I felt a sneeze coming on and tried to stifle it, but instead of stifling it, I managed to loudly project the air out through my lips, which made a really huge buzzing noise (anyone who plays a brass instrument probably knows this noise).


From the back of the room, I hear, "it popped!". Then, laughter, as the room openly mocked my zit. Ouch. It was mainly good natured ribbing, but I was still mortified.

So there you have it. Regina. The bitch that dug just a little bit more into my teenage self-esteem. Enjoy your laughter at my expense!

WW - Dopey snaps!

Apparently, Dopey got damn sick and tired of Sneezy's incessant sneezing.

Another image from our trip to Storybook Gardens...

Reason #5,609 that I don't live on the Gulf Coast

NO HURRICANES.

I'm not sure whether to be pissed for the people that evacuated or what. I mean, after what happened with Katrina, why would you want to take the chance? Wouldn't you rather "the authorities" made you leave than run the risk of dealing with major flooding again?

And do these people pay more for their homeowner's insurance? I have to say that they probably should...if you choose to live in an area that's below sea level, you should pay higher premiums. Sorry if you happen to run into my blog and don't agree, but that's the reason I live in my upper midwest state. I used to pay more than double what I pay now, simply because I used to live in the same county in which Detroit was also in. Even though my old neighborhood was perfectly safe, with very little crime, both my car and my home insurance were insanely expensive.

And speaking of that home, the bank has accepted the potential buyer's offer, and the buyer has agreed to wait for all the paperwork b.s. to be taken care of. We just need to find out if they've contacted the holder of the equity loan yet and if they'll let some money go for the buyer's closing costs (which he asked us to pick up). I feel like we need a lawyer, but I don't want to pay a bazillion dollars just to get some advice! I can't tell you how many times I've given advice to people once they find out I'm a speech pathologist...for free! So any lawyers out there want to trade advice - got a late talking kid or one with articulation issues? ;-)

Heading Out

to see this guy in concert once again:


Stop coughing *dork!* under your breath. I like him. I feel relatively young when I'm at his concerts. We're going with good friends. So nyah!

WW - Good uncles are hard to find...

As some of you know, I am unable to actually be wordless. This is my daughter at about 21 months of age with my oldest brother (19 years older than me, to be precise). He's reading If You Take a Mouse to the Movies, which was her favorite book at the time. Even now when she sees him, which she hasn't much lately since he's been working in Minnesota for the past 4 months (he's in construction, and there aren't many jobs around here right now), she brings him book after book to read. It's adorable, and quite hilarious. He completely adores her (I like to think it's because she reminds him so much of his adorable little sister, for whom he built this box house). This is one of my mom's favorite pictures. You may be able to see why.

True Confession Tuesday

Even though it's been several weeks since I've attempted TCT, I like having a theme at least a few days a week. It gives me some structure and ideas, which I will very much need now that I'm back to work.

So without further ado, here it goes:

I am having Golden Girls withdrawal.

Yeah, that's what I meant. And I'm not embarrassed to say it aloud - I'd shout it from the rooftops! More St. Olaf and Sicily stories! More jokes about what a tramp Blanche is! More references to Dorothy's mannishness!

And while I didn't watch the show every day, it was a ritual with me...if I happened to be home by myself in the morning, Lifetime would be turned on while I showered. That way, I could watch/listen to the shows while I readied myself for my days of, well, non-accomplishment. And, as always, the good old (stress old) Golden Girls always delivered.

A close second on the lazy ass TV watching? Little House on the Prairie. Show me a girl who claims she doesn't like that show, and I'll show you a girl who is a LIAR. Likewise with a girl who doesn't cry at something on the show. LHOTP is a close second only because I don't really care for the later episodes, you know the ones...where Cassandra and whats-his-name show up. Jason Bateman didn't get hot until Silver Spoons, so that was no added bonus.

Karma is biting me...

right in the jaw. To be specific, the left jaw muscle. OMG, it hurts.

While in grad school, I worked part time as a medical secretary to a oral & maxillofacial surgeon at a large midwestern university whose colors are NOT green and white. This surgeon was known for his guru-ness in TMJ (temporomandibular joint) disorders (I just had to see if I could still type it as I did when transcribing). One of my duties was to schedule patients who needed a consultation on their TMJ disorders...it would drive me nuts when people would call and say "I have TMJ and need to see someone,". Uh, yeah. Most everyone has a TMJ, dumbass.

I digress. My point was that I always thought of these people as incredibly whiny and pretty annoying. Wow. I am the biggest a**hole on earth. Because over the past few days? I've been experiencing at least some of that kind of pain, and it sucks.

I had a bite splint made several months ago on the recommendation of my new dentist, who told me that the culprit of my gum recession was not, in fact, due to my vigorous brushing habits, but rather from clenching or grinding my teeth. I was basically unaware that I was clenching or grinding, but apparently the wear pattern on my teeth was indicative. Okay. So give me one of those $500 pieces of plastic that insurance will only cover at 50%, I guess. I wore it pretty religiously for a number of weeks, even though I really didn't like wearing it...I mean, I hated wearing my retainer at night because it gagged me. Then I stopped wearing the splint because I was starting to get some muscle pain from it...I was like, what the hell!? This is supposed to keep me from having pain, not cause it! And I had every intention of returning to my dentist and telling him it needed adjustments, but never did.

And then the stressfulness of the past 3 weeks came upon me.

I guess I must have been clenching and grinding like a fiend, because last Monday and Tuesday I had pain mostly in my left cheek/jaw joint area. Wednesday it was radiating to my head, temple, and chin. Holy mother, it felt like someone was stabbing me with dull metal toothpicks. At this point, it was hard to tell whether the pain was originating from my back molars (one of which has a pret-ty deep filling, unfortunately), my jaw muscle, or my sinuses (allergies have been nasty lately in my neck o'the woods). Thursday was more of the same, and I was going crazy. So I made an emergency appointment with the dentist. He took x-rays of my back molars and declared that situation okay. (phew, no root canal looming) His prescription? Wear.your.splint. And take copious amounts of Ibuprofen. So I've been wearing it the past few nights, and trying to consciously relax my jaw. It seems to be working, cause I've been able to cut down from 4 advils every 5 hours.

Did you know that women suffer from TMJ disorder and/or associated muscle pain far more often than men? Supposedly it's because we tend to carry our stress in our necks, shoulders, and jaws. You know what I think that means? We have perfect excuses for weekly massages, preferably from tanned, handsome, buff men who are not gay. In fact, I order you now, woman friends, to seek one of these said massages STAT.

You'll thank me later.


And by the way, to add to my stress level, we got an offer on our old house. Only took 54 weeks. It's for $14,000 less than the list price and $56,000 less than the mortgage balance. Now we have to wait and see if the bank will accept the offer and release our shackles. Oy. Keep your fingers crossed, pray, send good karma, whatever it is you might do to wish us a speedy end to this ever present stress.

Oh yes, and I have to go back to work today. Full time. *Sob*

I'll stop whining, at least for now.

Saturday Funny

One of the funniest SNL commercials evah!

Aaaaak!

I just finished reading "Loving Frank" by Nancy Horan. If you haven't heard of it, crawl out from under your rock it's about this Illinois housewife's affair with Frank Lloyd Wright. I really didn't have any expectations, other than it was highly praised and in that Bookmarked thing by Target. I saw it at the Taliesin gift shop when we stopped by there on our way to the House on the Rock. I didn't even peek at the end of the book like I sometimes do.

Oy. I almost wish I had peeked, so I knew what was coming. Suffice it to say that it did NOT end well, and I don't just mean that they broke up. I finished the book late at night, reading by booklight. Freaked me right the hell out.

I won't say any more, just in case the three of you who read this regularly want to read it for yourselves. ;-) It really was a good book, though.

To explain the quiz...

Well, I have questions for all of you, and stick with me 'cause this will be a long post.

I'm heading back to work in a matter of a few days and will now be full time (I've pretty much always worked full time before last year...and I only took the 80% appointment with the idea that I would be full time in the future). Anyway. I recently got a brochure in the mail for a cleaning company. I kept it, thinking that maybe I'd call to see how much it would run for every other week. Pre-Molly, when I was first out of grad school and working long hours 45 minutes away from home, we indulged in a cleaning service for several months. It was nice, but we stopped after noticing that things weren't always getting done (that we were paying for), plus I found out I was pregnant and freaked out about the cost of daycare, diapers, etc.

A few weeks ago, I was at a home visit (at a very, very nice home that was at least 2500 sq. ft.) and this cleaning service was there. I asked the mom how she liked it and she chatted it up...even told me how much she was paying without me actually asking - $80 biweekly! That's what I was paying at the old house for 1000 sq. ft.! Naturally that piqued my interest. When I called, my phone estimate was $65-85 biweekly. I just need to have the in-home estimate to find out a firm price.

More recently, I was talking with someone (my therapist) and mentioned the cleaning service. then I mentioned that, even more than cleaning, I'd LOVE to find someone that would maybe once a week prepare/assemble meals that could be frozen and brought out later for dinners. And...she told me about this place called Alicat Kitchens, which is a place where you can go and assemble your own meals using their food, etc., but you can also have them make them for you to pick up. The place isn't really close to my house, but it's right around the corner from my husband's office. Now, I really hate grocery shopping (unless it's at Whole Foods, and we don't have any around here *sob*) and I'm not very good at it. We end up running back to the store a few times per week for 1-2 things. Or we say "screw it" and go out to eat. For 12 full meals (that serve 4-6 people; we're only 3) that include meats and two sides each, it would be $180. When looking at the cost of running back and forth to the store, going out to eat, and the time, we probably spend at least that. I'm going to look at the numbers to make sure. Since the meals are larger than we need, we would have leftovers for either another meal or for next day lunches. The only thing we'd need is a chest freezer, and we were planning to get one anyway.

Hence the quiz. What do y'all think about my dilemma? Now, I know that these things sound incredibly spoiled, but believe me, I don't buy myself a lot of other things...I don't spend hundreds of dollars on purses or shoes (well, except a couple pairs of Danskos that I own), I shop sales a LOT, and most of Molly's daycare clothes are consignment or Target's Circo brand. We don't go on big, expensive vacations. (And just because I need to get this out, you know the neighbor that I referenced earlier this week? She spent $1600 on a Prada purse so she could have it for her 10 year class reunion. Six.teen.hundred.dollars. Oh HELL no.) And we don't buy alcohol. These things would absolutely be luxuries for us, and I think it would cut down on my stress level and help me feel more like spending time with my family. (I would not be telling my siblings about this, either. They would never let me hear the end of it. Ever.)

Thanks for sticking with it! And take the quiz down below!

Poll: Which luxury should I consider paying money for?

Quizzes by Quibblo.com

WW - Allow me to toot my own horn...

Can I just say that I am not generally a crafty person. I have lofty aspirations for myself, but many projects I envision myself doing either never get finished, or hell, never even get started. (I'm sure there are some others out there).

That being said (even though this is Wordless Wednesday), I did finish this:

The spools around the edge are for hanging hair elastics, necklaces, bracelets, or whatever might need to hang. The ribbons in the middle are, well, for barrettes and clips. When she gets older, she can use the ribbons for earrings. I got a little ahead of myself and, instead of buying pink acrylic paint (pre-mixed), I bought a set of acrylics with the idea of mixing whatever color I might need. Um, yeah. The art major husband really didn't help me out much with the color mixing, so it wasn't exactly the shade of pink I had in mind. Oh well. And as for her name, it's not centered (I did try to pencil it in beforehand, but just sort of said Screw it) and in a fit of extreme stupidity, tried to freehand with a paintbrush. That was so many kinds of stupid, I can't even express it adequately. If I ever attempt another one of these, I will definitely be using a paint pen for the name.

What do you think? Should I try another prototype and try selling these babies on Etsy? Be honest!

Cop-Out Meme

Meme borrowed from Tuli...I have ideas swimming around but don't feel like typing them out just yet.

So, with that, I give you...

THIS IS ME:
Eye Color: Blue
Hair Color: dishwater blonde/light brown (depending on the day)
Dyed or Natural: highlighted
Curly or Straight: Wavy if I coax it while drying
Right- or Left-handed: right
Tan or Pale: Pretty much pale.
Jeans or Khakis: jeans
Country, Rap, or Rock: Rock
Car: 2003 Honda Accord V-6...and when this one craps out it'll be a Honda CR-V in that light green
Place in order of preference--T.V., book, movie, music: book, tv, music, movie
Your heritage: Dutch & German
Shoes you're wearing today: fake Ugg slippers from Costco (it is 7:16 a.m. after all)
Your weakness(es): books; shoes; clothes for my daughter
Your perfect pizza: thin crust, either with pepperoni or a mediterranean spinach/feta/tomato theme. Must be thin crust, though.
Favorite color: navy blue
Favorite place: anywhere up north, preferably along Lake Michigan
Goal you'd like to achieve: to have a house on the big lake someday...
Your most overused phrase(s): Criminy! or Excuse me, Mrs. Monroe
Your thoughts first waking up: Not yet!
Your best physical feature(s): eyes
Your bedtime: usually around 10:30 (when working)
Your most missed memory: lazy summer days with my best girlfriends
Pepsi or Coke: Cherry Coke Zero (which, by the way, Wisconsin has NEVER HEARD OF)
McDonald's or Burger King: eww.
Single or group dates: group
Adidas or Nike: Saucony
Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea: Magical Mint Mate by Guayaki
Chocolate or vanilla: Chocolate
Cappuccino or coffee: neither - not a coffee drinker

Just wondering...

Remember this week, when I had to pick up my car in Chicago? Well, I volunteered to take my neighbor, so as to be somewhat social. She likes to talk gossip, and, well, I listen. I admit, I like me some good gossip. It's not a friendship made in heaven - heck, it might not be much of a friendship at all, but that's a story for another time.

Shortly after we moved in, I discovered that she knows some people that I went to school with - one that was in my class, and one that was a year behind me (and is a niece of my ex-sister-in-law, so cousins to 2 of my nephews. I'm from a small town.). In school, I was friendly with, but not friends with these girls. Apparently, they told her that I was "had another level" of friends and was sort of "above them". WTF? I mean, my friends and I were involved in things like music and theater, and also were pretty good students, but we certainly were no Benny & Steff of Pretty in Pink or anything. My dad was a truck driver, FFS (to borrow a phrase from Tuli)!

So I took the opportunity on our trip to find out exactly what they meant, because I was sort of offended. I guess these girls were basically calling me a goody-two-shoes.

Why am I offended by this? What the hell is wrong with being a goody-two-shoes? I guess if they mean I didn't "party" (which is a term that I absolutely hate - I think it sounds so stupid), they'd be pretty much right. When my friends were drinking Robitussin (did anyone else go through that stage?), I chose not to participate. I mean, why would I drink that shit simply for the alcohol content when it tastes horrible? I never wanted to try smoking; I never thought it smelled even remotely good and really didn't think it looked all that cool. That's not to say I didn't have my times with alcohol, because I did. The encounters just weren't all that exciting, and I didn't like how it made me feel (sort of nauseous). I don't like the taste of beer. So I chose not to imbibe. It goes without saying that I've not tried any sort of drug whatever. Does that mean a person is a goody-two-shoes? And why is that label so cruel sounding?

I've often wondered what it was that my parents did to instill this in me - is it genetic? My father, who grew up in a time where MANY people smoked, especially men, never did. Never even tried it. He claims it was because when he would ride with my grandpa (while they worked as loggers), grandpa would light up cigars and smoke...with the windows rolled up. He (grandpa) didn't like having the windows down, so my dad would be trapped in a truck cab filled with smelly cigar smoke. He said it nauseated him. My dad isn't a big drinker, either. He might have a beer (PBR me ASAP) on a hot summer day after mowing the lawn, and I've seen him have the occasional rum and coke, but other than that? Nothing much. My mother grew up with a German immigrant father, who frequented the Moose Lodge after work. I'm not sure if he really fit the "alcoholic" label, but my mom maintained he drank too much. And smoking never crossed her mind either.

I don't remember my parents being preachy about these vices, I just knew that their opinion was that they were unnecessary. And for whatever reason, I agreed.

That being said, I know how to swear. In fact, I enjoy a good round of swearing if I'm pissed off in the car (learning how to control that with a 3 year old in tow) or at my husband, or at the world. I know who to swear in front of (my mom = NOT okay). I also have a raunchy sense of humor and know that I have to be careful who to show that to. I have LOTS of strong opinions, some that probably go against the majority. My husband says that I'm liberal with a conservative streak. I guess that fits pretty well. I know that, if my daughter chooses to sneak alcohol as a teenager, she'll have to go elsewhere to find it, since we don't even keep any in the house. I'm cheap. My husband might get a beer at dinner sometimes, but usually only when we're dining with friends. Again, I'm cheap. And if I do drink? It's usually something fruity or mixed with coffee or ice cream, and typically I only have one.

Why do I still feel the need to be almost apologetic for who I am? And who the hell cares anymore? I mean, I graduated 18 frigging years ago and this is not a John Hughes movie. Like I told husband as we were discussing this today, I feel that people who are 35 years old should have their shit together by now, and not go out "partying" just for the sake of getting wasted. My idea of fun is having a game night with my best buds, laughing, eating, and having a good time. Alcohol may or may not be involved. I don't feel like I judge people who choose to have a drink, unless it's to excess and they look idiotic. I don't think sitting at a bar is especially fun, either. The guy I dated (and almost married) before my husband used to go to the bar almost every night. I'd go like a dutiful girlfriend and be the designated driver. But I was bored. Stiff. The one good thing that came of all those nights was that I got damn good at darts and bumper pool.

I guess the one thing I'm trying to get out of this long, rambling piece of crap post is - am I a goody-two-shoes? Am I being holier than thou? Does anyone share my opinion on all this? Let me have it...tell me what you think.

Haiku Friday

********

I am in a funk

but don't know what's causing it.

Wish it'd go away.

********

Work looming? Weight gain?

I can't reach inside myself

to figure it out.

********

Hate when I'm restless,

from one thing to another;

so unproductive.

********

Now I ask you this-

make me laugh, people! I know

someone there can help.

Need ideas...

My kiddo's last day at her daycare is tomorrow - the main provider is going to be having major surgery so they'll be closed until after Labor Day. M will be starting preschool in a couple weeks anyway. Even though we've only been with this daycare just a couple weeks shy of a year (since we moved), we've all loved it for M...they basically helped us potty trained her and have been WONDERFUL with setting a good foundation for preschool and beyond.

My question is - what do you get, gift-wise, for these occasions? I got both providers (it's a small in-home daycare) bookstore gift cards for Christmas. Is it cheesy to do that again, maybe in larger amounts? Over the past couple of months, we've donated toys and books to them for use with the kids, so that's been done. I personally would ALWAYS be happy with a bookstore gift card, so I guess that's why it's stuck in my head.

Any opinions? Ideas?

WW - horrified by Humpty

This was taken at one of the cooler tourist traps in Wisconsin Dells - Storybook Gardens. These nursery rhyme scenes were all over, with animals thrown in for good measure (zebras, monkeys, giraffes, etc.). I loved the retro-ness of the scenes; they reminded me of a very similar, but smaller awesome place I used to go as a kid. Mein Gott in Himmel, I need a haircut, STAT. And can you see how those gigondous birthing hips squeezed out a 9 lb. 6 oz. kid in 30 minutes?

Interruptions

I'm tired.

Got up early yesterday morning to get the kid to an 8 am dentist appointment. This morning it was to the outpatient surgery center at 6:45 am for PE tubes (after which she puked grape juice while riding in my rental vehicle). Since I live in the middle of BFE nowhere, these appointments involve us getting out the door at least 45 minutes before the appointment time, which means that my ass is up much earlier than my husband's. Yes, I'm whining. Live with it.

Tomorrow I have to get up early and drive to the Chicago area, where I will be retrieving my car from the dealership service department. The awesome thing is that, rather than shelling out $3700, I will only be shelling out $1300. The factory sent a transmission and is not making me pay for it (I think they know that this particular part from this particular year/make of car is crap - I've seen MANY posts and complaints online for my very problem), I only have to pay for labor. And hey, while I'm there unfettered by husband or child, I might as well do some shopping, right?

Vacay Day One - A Photo Essay (if I don't get totally irritated by formatting issues)

We got on this:

It was not smooth sailing until we got closer to Milwaukee, so husband and daughter got a dose of this:

I survived without it. Wonder woman!

Land ho! This is where all the seasick people who were lying on deck got up and cheered. It was windy as hell but felt awesome.

After unloading the cars, we went to look for some lunch. Since our GPS was actually unpacked, we were in charge of finding sustenance. For some reason, my GPS got totally whacked out in Wisconsin. It told us there was an Applebee's where there was, in fact, a dead-end street. This was the first of several dozen times that I wanted to chuck the TomTom out the window. Thankfully, there was a Honeybaked Ham deli place around the corner.

After lunch, we went here:

and my cheap dutch self was glad because we had reciprocal zoo passes and got in for free (although $10 for parking seemed a bit steep).

My child so desperately wanted money to use these freaky "foot massagers". Cheap parental unit made her be satisfied with just sitting for a photo op. I did think one of those might come in handy for mommy. *wink wink*

My husband loves to (try to) take those cheesy hold-the-camera-at-arm's-length-to-get-a-cute-shot photos. This was my defense:

I don't do cutesy very well. Is it that obvious?

After the zoo, we checked into the hotel and let the guys go out on their man-date while the children went to bed. Let me tell you, it's an exciting evening sprawling out in the dark on one of two double beds while your kid sleeps on the other at 8 p.m. TG I had my book light and my copy of Time Bandit. The guys went here, where my husband had the "best. brat. ever." (which, I can attest, equals worst. farts. ever.):

And, since the male half of our vacation buddies loves to visit breweries, they went here:

and here:

And that ends Day One. More to come. Can you stand the suspense?

We're baaaaaaack!

Home now, minus my car. It had to stay in Chicagoland since it needs a new transmission. What a fun thing to have happen on vacation, huh? I have to go back and pick it up next week sometime; not looking forward to revisiting orange barrels ALL. THE. WAY. Oh well.

Photos and stories to follow later. I'm damn tired.

Dells Insanity

Just a couple things:

1. Wisconsin Dells is a CRAZY town. I don't see how they have anyone live here year round. The traffic is monstrous.

2. This place needs a decent laundromat that's open past 9pm. The one we ended up using was seriously ICK.

That's all for now.

Haiku Friday

Off we go on the

morrow. Across the big lake

and east to the Dells.

********

With good friends and their

daughter; she and Molly will

have good times playing.

********

Mini golf but no

water shows. Lake Delton has

drained away. Oh well.

********

No expectations here.

First time visiting the Dells.

Want a getaway.

********

Gone for a week, so

keep the 'net warm for me and

I'll miss you all. Bye!

10 9 Things that gross/creep me out

1. Mushy, starchy foods like mashed potatoes

2. Peanut butter on bread (too sticky or something - I've never really been able to pinpoint what I don't like about it)

3. As a kid, I loved swimming lessons but hated walking on the sopping wet tile, especially with the wet fuzz and mystery hairs that were rampant all over. I still get the heebies just thinking about it.

5. HATE.feet. I can barely stand to hear the word 'toenails'. It grosses me out just to type it. Eww.

6. There must NOT be errant hairs in the shower when I get in. This ties in with #4. Eww.

7. If I find my husband's body hair on my soap, I go ballistic. Especially when it's my favorite bar of Bliss soap. Note to self: get him his own soap for birthday. Actually, get him his own bathroom so he can drip pee on the floor and hair it up to his heart's content. Why do I have him around, anyway?

8. Men who have long fingernails.

9. Smoker fingernails. They're all thick and yellow and nasty. I just threw up in my mouth a little bit.

10. Chipped nail polish. JUST TAKE IT OFF ALREADY.

WW - Caption This

I can't think of a good caption. Any ideas?

Weekend Bullet Points

1. On Friday night (rehearsal), the girl was WIRED. SIL actually had an idea that a 3 year old would be capable of standing at the altar for the duration of the 30 minute ceremony. Uh, yeah. The rehearsal cured that notion.

2. Friday night's activities included the rehearsal, rehearsal dinner, and "open house". All of them a requirement for husband and I. SIL gets tiny cake for husband's and my 10th anniversary. Woo hoo.

3. Saturday: I was able to get out for an AM hour of shopping at my favorite large health food grocery store, which we do not have in my new neck of the woods. I keep stalking their website and requesting a store, hopefully they'll listen one of these days.

4. "Bridal luncheon" at noon. Parmesan crusted whitefish. YUM. Tasted even better because I didn't have to pay for it.

5. Rush back to IL's house to get dressed. Pics for family at 3:30.

6. Rode with IL's to church rather than take two cars (they have a mini-van). This is significant later on.

7. Ceremony happens. Daughter walks down the aisle excellently, but instead of stopping where MIL and I are sitting, she goes up to the front to stand by daddy at the altar. Whoops. She gets tired after a few minutes, asks to be picked up. Husband holds her for a little bit, then sets her down and tells her to go sit by mommy. She does without talking loudly. Yay!

8. Everyone goes out to church steps for a picture of all guests. Swelter in humid, 80+ degree full late afternoon sun. Perhaps wearing black wasn't such a good idea. Sweat possibly starting to pool in Spanx. Husband's head looking shiny.

9. Tell FIL to get the van's air going full blast, we're going back inside to get bags, hangers, etc. Come back out to VAN NO WHERE TO BE FOUND. Walk around church in bewilderment. STILL NO IN-LAWS. Call MIL's cell phone. STRAIGHT TO VOICE MAIL. Yep. They left without us. WITHOUT THEIR SON, GRANDCHILD, AND red headed stepchild of a DAUGHTER IN LAW. Paid no attention to the kid's music blasting on the satellite radio, just got in the van and blindly headed to the reception.

10. Caught ride with groom's sister. No booster for the kid, but oh well. Husband sputtered the whole way about disowning his parents. I called my mom to tell her the ceremony went fine and that ILs left us at the church...she about peed herself for laughing. Molly got on the phone and said "daddy's distending grandpa".

11. MIL calls, apologizes profusely.

12. Get to reception, Molly walks up to ILs and announces "you left us on purpose!". She then proceeds to walk around telling everyone else that grandpa left us at the church.

13. Kid maintenance through dinner. Ewww. Hard to relax and enjoy when you're constantly worried about where your kid is.

14. Dancing starts. Child makes beeline for dance floor. Dances with everyone, even people she doesn't know. Does not leave floor the entire evening, EVEN FOR CAKE AND ICE CREAM. We finally peel her off the floor 2 hours past her bedtime.

15. Back at ILs, husband farts loudly. Molly stalks down the hall and announces, "daddy, I don't have time for this tooting!"

16. Blissful sleep.

17. Next morning, caterers arrive to set up for brunch. My god, will this weekend never end?

18. 6 hours later, the weekend as I know it ends. I start for home while husband downloads pictures and child takes nap before they leave for home.

I may do more of a narrative later, but these are the highlights (so to speak). As you might imagine, I'm still exhausted from it all. It's a lot of work acting smiley and happy when all you want to do is veg and sleep. Feel free to ask any burning questions about the festivities. ;)

More later...

WOTC OVER!!!! Back home. Work this am. ENT for Molly this pm.

Forgotten at church. M charmed everyone. Too cute in dress.

More later.

Haiku Friday - Apology

Reading, commenting

I've been terrible lately

I will be better.

********

Next week, more relaxed

More time to look at your blogs

before vacation...

********

I feel like a child

chastised for being naughty.

Too bitchy lately.

********

Eventually, you'll get sick of my ranting

You ever feel like your life (or events therein) is just like a big zit with a shiny, quivering head, ready to explode? Yeah. That's what I feel like right now.

So I've already bitched about the wedding of the century this week. I get a call from the husband today explaining why he can't come home tomorrow after taking care of the yard at the old house (the neighbor kid who is supposed to be mowing and trimming weeds is doing a shit-ass job)...I wanted him to come home so we could take one car over. That reason would be the SIX.PAGE.ITINERARY. that details the WOTC. Starting tomorrow and ending on Sunday. I'm surprised they didn't schedule when people were supposed to be taking their daily crap. I'm practically breaking out in hives with this thing. I wasn't this keyed up about my own damn wedding!

And then tonight, I get this email from husband:

"Stop thinking you have it bad... I'd pay to trade spots with you. I'm sitting in the living room with Dad watching "So you think you can dance". It's blaring at 1,000,000 decibels, and he's also farting up a storm. My mom is also showing dad the beginnings of her "hammer toe". Maybe when you are here you can give your opinion of it."

Aaaah. Four days with the in-laws. I can't. f**king.wait.

Helllllllp meeeeeeeeee.

WW - Pick me from the Dork Line-up

These are some of my buddies and I, Spring, 9th grade (circa 1988). We had a series of pictures taken as a surprise for another friend, who was moving away at the end of the school year. The pictures were custom framed in a collage and presented to her at a party given in her honor.

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This was a really, really difficult thing to have happen...I grew up in the same house my parents built shortly after their marriage, the same house they still live in today. My core group of friends, with the exception of the one these pictures were done for, all stayed for the remainder of high school. The one who moved away was naturally easier to lose touch with, although several of us went to her 16th birthday party, came for visits occasionally, and eventually, attended her wedding.

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This past year, I discovered that I was living and working only about 30 minutes away from this displaced friend. I decided to be brave and showed up with my business card at her office, fully intending to just leave it ,with my contact info on the back, with her receptionist. The receptionist insisted I wait to see if she was getting close to her lunch break. I'm so glad I did, because we've now reconnected. And in many ways, it feels like hardly any time at all has passed between the picture above and now.

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So now for the fun: take a guess as to which one is moi. Tuli, you may have an unfair advantage, although you claim you don't remember what I look like. ;) I promise to let all of you who guess know if you're right or not.

This one is embarrassing, people. I'm hoping that someone else will come out and admit they share the same affliction.

You see, ever since I gave birth, my hormones haven't been the same...thus producing:

random, wiry chin hairs that can sprout seemingly instantly.

This causes a slight obsession. Before I go to bed at night and before I get in the shower in the morning, I must check my chin and neck - just in case one of these sneaky f*ck*rs stuck its ugly head out overnight. I carry tweezers in my purse, in my makeup bag, and in my car. Just in case. I try to (sneakily) feel my chin throughout the day and get myself to a mirror if I detect one. I don't know if people just don't notice this act, or they think I'm pensively contemplating life while I feel my face up.

They are the bane of my existence. I vow that, if I ever hit the lottery, the first thing I spend my money on is LASER HAIR REMOVAL. STAT.

Please jeer quietly. I have a fragile ego. Thank you.